[Mr Fred]

Can anyone help with this software problem?



Eighteen months ago I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2 which I'd used for years without any trouble.



However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.



To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is also incompatible with several other applications, such as Lads Night Out 3.1, Football 2 and Playboy 6.1.



Successive versions of Girlfriend have proved no better. A shareware beta-programme, Party Girl 2.1 had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.



Eventually I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to all my hardware.



Sensing a way out, I upgraded to Fiancee 1.0 only to discover that this product has to be upgraded to Wife 1.0.



I did this largely because, whilst Wife 1.0 uses up all available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSex Plus and Cleanhouse 2000.



However, I discovered that Wife 1.0 can be very unstable and costly to run.



For example, any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted, they then re-surfaced months later. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary Explorer and E-mail porn filter, and can, without warning, launch Photostrop and Whingezip.



These latter products have no help files and require you to try and guess the problem yourself. Additional costly problems are that the Wife 1.0 bundle, that came with the original system, needs updating regularly, requiring Shoe Shop Browser Pro for new attachments and Hairstyle Express needs to be reinstalled every other week.



It also conflicted with some of the new games I wanted to try, stating that they are an illegal operation.



When Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Nova programme it often crashes or runs the system dry.



Wife 1.0 also has a rather annoying pop-up called Mother-in-Law, which can't be turned off.



Recently I've been tempted to try Mistress 2000, but there could be problems, if Wife 1.0 detects the presence of Mistress 2000 it will delete all MS Money files before un-installing itself.



Any ideas?

[sleepingfish]

OS Ex? (although older versions may induce hard drive problems)

[lyndon]

cant find a link right now, but have you tried Hooker 1.2b? Apparently it uses very little resources, no memory overhead and its almost transparent in operation to Wife 1.0 - Kinda dodgy but if your careful and only run it in safe mode then it should be undetectable to Wife 1.0, but watch out for Spy-Ware and Activity Loggers!!!

[lyndon]

And of course Viruses

[Mr Fred]

Registered: Aug 2003
Location: Barry, not Barry Island

class

[Brooklyn]

For ages I tried Girlfriend 1.0a, 1.0b & 1.0c. Though I had got it all sorted by Girlfriend 2.0.0, but the HDD corrupted causing odd problems and the OS became very unstable. Unfortunatley Girlfriend 2.0.0, after swift relocation, spawned Daughter v1....

After spending some time running "Inebriation1.1" and "NARC OS 1.1", which incedentally had a few confliction errors, I finally settled on "Girlfriend 2000"

Girlfriend 2000 was upgraded to "Wife 2001" with very few problems, pleanty of RAM and a huge ammount of processing power, she indeed, does rock, and came with a very nice chassis!

Oddly enough Wife 2001 does not get on with Girlfriend 2.0.0 though does allow me to run Daughter v1 every 2 weeks without system faliures or crashes.

Have tried all forms of anti virus tools and firewalls to block GF2.0.0, but nothing successful. Possibly concider recompiling her Kernel into "Imprisoned Unemployed Dole Blugger 2.2"

Wife 2001 was compromised with "UnprotectedSexWorm.dll" in 2002 and since produced "Son v1" having patched Wife 2001 with "Mother Driver 1.0a" I know have "Wife XP 2003" Which has been very reliable unless run with older applications such as "Know your hoover 95" or "How to Wash Up 98"

"Son v1" is perfect. Currently installing drivers for Speech, Walking, Eating and Sleeping, though there has been a few teething problems with the Sleep Driver. This will be corrected once "Sleep Driver SP1" has been released.

Son v1: (http://dev.digital-prozac.co.uk/docs/cute.jpg) does require patching occasionally with "Clean Nappy 2003" and "Farleys 1.1" Although maintainence costs are high, this is still a new system in development and it will be at least 12 years before the results can bee seen.

I'm rambling now....


Bye....

[dan]

Smiley little bugger ain't he

[Stickman]

Someone's nicked his teeth.

[Prole]

lol, that's one of the funniest things i've read in ages! good stuff

[Stickman]

Thanks. I'm here all week. Tell your friends.

[smallbeer]

You get a Brucey bonus for that!