[shwizle]

[[EDIT: Read last post for updated work...]]

Ad redesign.
Constructive Comments? Please????

BEFORE:




AFTER:

[Rusty Eldred]

better. Its hard to change a small ad, you did a good job of organizing it.

[Benjamin]

Sligthly better... I like the fact, that more of the newspaper is visible now, but the info is also a lot smaller... a bit too small if you ask me.

And the photo is not very good, could have been better...

[2Dfruit]

I like the original better. easier to read..far easier to read. The text in the second one is irritatingly small.

[seen.to]

I prefer the idea of the second although the DOF is off as is the perspective making the ad you added seem a little unnatural.

Is this for fun or a client? If it's the latter you should consider mocking up the entire [visible region of the] newspaper page with other discretely comical ads. All should have 555 numbers of course.

Perhaps the client should add a line with a recorded message that you can add to the ad.

[Liam]

Nice idea, but why have you placed the ad in the apartments section?

[pgo]

Originally Posted by Liam

Nice idea but why have you placed the ad in the apartments section?

Haha, good question.

Second is better, but it could be a bit bigger. Like...25% bigger maybe. The classified ad should take up 1/8-1/5 of the full ad. Roughly.

[wheedwacker]

Yeah, nice but too small.

[safe as milk]

the second one looks like the newspaper is what you wipe your ass with

[hawken]

the secret of advertising something like toilet paper is to totally extract it from it's actual purpose, reminding people of what it's actually going to be used for isn't going to work.

[JonoMarshall]

It's not very on-brand for Charmin me thinks?!?

(Unless there's a new direction coming..? I'm not the most up-to-date with the world of all things poop-related.)

[d*d]

Originally Posted by hawken

the secret of advertising something like toilet paper is to totally extract it from it's actual purpose, reminding people of what it's actually going to be used for isn't going to work.

I agree, the implication is too much on the actual wiping your arse part - However, the fact that this is a bit of a taboo in advertising means it might just work, just not for the brands you have chosen - I assume this isn't a real project brief for either so make up a toilet roll brand as well.

[joey]

All I see is Arial in the first ad. I can't see past that for some reason!

In all seriousness, though, the second is better. But work out the details, get in a little closer, and get rid of the damn drop shadow below the text on the bottom right.

[shwizle]

Thanks for the feedback everyone.

Yes, the project is just for my portfolio. I thought it was a clever idea worth pursuing.

Many of you seem torn (mind the pun, haha) on whether or not you like the new ad since the writing is so small. I'll work on cropping it in a slightly more effective way. I'll also lose the drop shadow on the bottom right. And yes, I'll need to change it from the "apartments" section

Lastly, I chose Charmins because they have a new "HEAVY DUTY" toilet paper, that i thought would be an appropriate product for the ad.

[shwizle]

Updated Ad:

[d*d]

still struggling to read that, would be useless as a billboard ad for tht reason, do a closer crop and tighten the circle around it

[JonoMarshall]

It's a useless approach for Outdoor regardless... keep it as a print solution. (I'd re-crop to an A4ish size for zines.)

[doffy]

Not to be rude, but how about toning down the colour of the surrounding ads? - A sepia like tint, maybe.. (and yeah; including the header backgrounds up there, heavily opaqued sepia-brown could maybe bring the focused ad a little bit forward, as it by itself still would be newspaper black.)

[Dusteh]

I know it's just for your portfolio but are those real adverts surrounding it? You should be mocking up everything on that page rather than using a real newspaper if this is the case - something a prospective employer might pick up on as well looking at it.

[Soup Of The Day]

It's pretty dark, bump the contrast to increase the legibility maybe