[hawken]

any comments welcome as still WIP, probably add some textures. Trying to get back into the swing of things... this time; erotics!

[adras]

Interesting.

The dark lines on the white chic's hair are too thick. same goes for the shoes (both chicks). Also the lip onthe white one don't seem right. Add a background - they look like they are floating in an empty space.

[datahound]

Kiss doesn't look right, looks like they are sharing a boiled sweet.

[stylin328]

The white chics mouth looks like its over powering the other mouth. the ohter chics mouth doesnt look right eithor. the shoes also look to big. But keep working on it. the rest of the bodies work great

[pgo]

Hope you don't mind, but I took 5 minutes and made a few small changes. I was going to just explain what I had in mind, but...



You'll see that I removed objects that were "between" them. Trying to open up the negative space between them as that space is what's really going to create intimacy between the two figures.

Also changed the mouths some...

The hands could use a bit of work as they're one of the more expressive body parts. For instance: the tan girl's finger tips could be making slight indentations in the other's thigh and the pale girl's hands don't look like the hands of someone in an erotic situation - they're too static and look more like hands that you'd see resting in someone's lap (and not in that good way ).

Hope that helps.

[lukasarts]

Sounds like you enjoyed playing with that image pgo..

I think the main problem for me is the chick on the left... her jaw line seems too masculine. Dont think those big 'ol socks are particularly alluring either... but then if you're working from a photo I guess that can't be helped.

[cocknose]

its like the lesbian from "FAME"

[BrunoSerge]

Since you're not finished yet, my sugestion would be to try to fix the kiss, as said before by datahound. And make the colors perfect before adding textures. Using just color you can focus the girls subject, which multiplies the feeling of intimacy. Since you have the vector file you'll be able to do a much better job balancing the good and bad details, of course.

(- in this example I removed or modified some body details, like the legs on the left, made them smaller to give some balance, removed some body details and made the mouths simpler - since it's the main spot where the eyes will look for detail, it shouldn't have too much detail, or it would look unbalanced in the context).

I'm sure that after some improvements and adding textures it can become interesting. Try also a dramatic B&W and/or a painted glass light effect. It's not hard to achieve something like that with layers/meshes in Illustrator, and maybe it works even better.



PS: Oh I agree that the left girl's jaw line shouldn't be so strong too

[BrunoSerge]

Oh one more thing, I can't avoid just suggesting this, probably you already know it, but the image is predominantly vertical in terms of how it resolves itself, so a vertical crop would look perfectly tailored to the subject, enhancing the intimacy/lonelyness in empty space. Something like this



Ok going back to my work now. toodles

[BrunoSerge]

bump?