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hawken · 30-07-2006, 06:39

This will be one of those side scrolling flash thingies. Any comments appreciated.
I was responsible for the illustration and art direction. Client booked the model, supplied the clothes and studio.

scroll down for updates.

design2work.net · 30-07-2006, 06:53

I like those neo geisha you made =]

SeanMedia · 30-07-2006, 07:15

Looks good.

I like the idea, but would personally like to see a few shadows. The girls don't blend in with the background as well as they could.

Megaton Cat · 30-07-2006, 09:50

Don't really like the feel of it either.

hawken · 31-07-2006, 08:17

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luke A

no offence as I couldn't do any better, but it looks crap - mainly let down by the clash between the poor quality images and the background. id dump it and try something else

dump which bit exactly?

the images are poor quality because of the JPG

if I posted the final version as one image (not flash) it would eat your bandwidth for breakfast (not to mention my hosting)

hawken · 31-07-2006, 08:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by design2work.net

I like those neo geisha you made =]

lol cheers! I wish I got paid for those... purely hobby stuff that.

I may go for some radical colour changes to the illustration part of this. Client seems happy... then again they did pay half an arm for the shoot.

Transmogrify · 31-07-2006, 08:32

Probably looks better when it's moving about.

fetusface · 31-07-2006, 10:17

its hard to crit this because its not the final product. Out of context without the motion and high res photos. Id need to see the context of the text and whats going on first.

liquidfusion · 31-07-2006, 13:57

The concept has potential, but at the moment the realisation isnt of a very high standard, you need higher quality pics of the girls, and the non coloured parts dont go well with the coloured parts, i'd either have simple shapes in one colour or just coloured.

pgo · 31-07-2006, 14:45

I think the image quality has more to do with his compressing it to post here.

I think you should color in each little area. This combination of white/black objects in colored rooms is a bit jarring. Also, it could be the contrast of the flat outlined shapes with the more dimensional spaces in which they exist. Perhaps outlined the colored sections of the room would tie the two together a little better?

Also, I'd really emphasize the color scheme of each individual room. Make each room more monochromatic.

hawken · 31-07-2006, 16:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by liquidfusion

you need higher quality pics of the girls

heh its the jpg, raws are from a top of the range studio nikon and are printable a4. no text here some roll overs for item pics.

Thanks for the advice there PGO, I'll try the things you mention. My overall happiness with the image at the moment is 3/10... the illustration looked nice alone, but after I placed the girl it took a turn for the ugly.

Well, deadline is looming but thanks for the feedback guys, it's very much appreciated!

hawken · 31-07-2006, 16:06

Quote:

Originally Posted by fetusface

its hard to crit this because its not the final product.

in general final products can't be changed, however by crits this can can because its not a final product. Another mystery solved.

I hope you don't post on eatpoo, being from calgary and all...

hawken · 31-07-2006, 17:54

decided to remove all colour entirely!

liquidfusion · 31-07-2006, 20:10

Thats far better and is one of the things i suggested to do, but i'd try white with a black stroke instead.

pgo · 01-08-2006, 00:04

I'd still try colors. One for each room. Nothing gaudy - just something understated.

hawken · 07-08-2006, 18:53

vaght ze krient vanted in ze end ya

adras · 07-08-2006, 19:39

Huuuge improvement! Now you are talking.

datahound · 07-08-2006, 20:38

I think the model needs a big plate of sausages and mashed potato followed by treacle pudding and custard. For about a week..

30-07-2006, 06:39	#1 (permalink)
hawken Cornish Pasty Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Tokyo, Japan Posts: 2,515	wide load This will be one of those side scrolling flash thingies. Any comments appreciated. I was responsible for the illustration and art direction. Client booked the model, supplied the clothes and studio. scroll down for updates. __________________ ere, wosson? Last edited by hawken : 31-07-2006 at 17:59.

31-07-2006, 14:45	#10 (permalink)
pgo i'm done, son Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 12,262	I think the image quality has more to do with his compressing it to post here. I think you should color in each little area. This combination of white/black objects in colored rooms is a bit jarring. Also, it could be the contrast of the flat outlined shapes with the more dimensional spaces in which they exist. Perhaps outlined the colored sections of the room would tie the two together a little better? Also, I'd really emphasize the color scheme of each individual room. Make each room more monochromatic. Last edited by pgo : 31-07-2006 at 15:09.

31-07-2006, 17:54	#13 (permalink)
hawken Cornish Pasty Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Tokyo, Japan Posts: 2,515	decided to remove all colour entirely! __________________ ere, wosson?

07-08-2006, 18:53	#16 (permalink)
hawken Cornish Pasty Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Tokyo, Japan Posts: 2,515	vaght ze krient vanted in ze end ya __________________ ere, wosson?

07-08-2006, 19:39	#17 (permalink)
adras Zły Join Date: May 2004 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 1,920	Huuuge improvement! Now you are talking. __________________ Be Crisp (tm)

30-07-2006, 06:53	#2 (permalink)
design2work.net design2work Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: UK Posts: 35	I like those neo geisha you made =]

30-07-2006, 07:15	#3 (permalink)
SeanMedia Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Belfast, Ireland Posts: 416	Looks good. I like the idea, but would personally like to see a few shadows. The girls don't blend in with the background as well as they could.

30-07-2006, 09:50	#4 (permalink)
Megaton Cat bellow average poster Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 559	Don't really like the feel of it either.

31-07-2006, 08:32	#7 (permalink)
Transmogrify Rough Creep Arse™ Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Vancouver, Canada Posts: 1,894	Probably looks better when it's moving about.

31-07-2006, 10:17	#8 (permalink)
fetusface ™™™™™™™ Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Calgary, Canada Posts: 444	its hard to crit this because its not the final product. Out of context without the motion and high res photos. Id need to see the context of the text and whats going on first.

31-07-2006, 13:57	#9 (permalink)
liquidfusion Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 149	The concept has potential, but at the moment the realisation isnt of a very high standard, you need higher quality pics of the girls, and the non coloured parts dont go well with the coloured parts, i'd either have simple shapes in one colour or just coloured.

31-07-2006, 20:10	#14 (permalink)
liquidfusion Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 149	Thats far better and is one of the things i suggested to do, but i'd try white with a black stroke instead.

01-08-2006, 00:04	#15 (permalink)
pgo i'm done, son Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 12,262	I'd still try colors. One for each room. Nothing gaudy - just something understated.

07-08-2006, 20:38	#18 (permalink)
datahound Spare Parts Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Bracknell Forest Posts: 4,734	I think the model needs a big plate of sausages and mashed potato followed by treacle pudding and custard. For about a week.. __________________ poochmedia \| Computer Spare Parts \| Computer & Telephone Disposals

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