Web Design Forums

HalfMachine · 17-02-2010, 18:21

Here's one we had said a few years ago over the phone.

client: I wanted to call you to see what you were doing on Sunday morning.

Me: don't know yet why?

client: well, I need to get a presentation designed of how my brand will look in a big department store. You know, the packaging, the POS, the shelf styling and layout of products.

Me: It doesn't give us much time but I can do as rush job and charge an extra sum on hourly rate.

client: oh, I haven't got any money to do it, but there is a 'Dragon' interested so thought you might want to show them what you could do.

be: so it's free work / no guarantee of any work after it / and we're gonna get all this done from scratch on Sunday morning?

client: yep

me: oooh, busy Sunday morning sorry.

HalfMachine · 17-02-2010, 18:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by steveb

But they would be back in two months!

no, they lose face and then go elsewhere and start the lies all over again.

steveb · 17-02-2010, 18:39

Well obviously they themselves won't be back to you, but the other silly cunts who pitched the other crappy ad agencies will be on to you. What goes around, comes around - God knows that was true of Lintas where I worked where if a customer drifted away in the 50s, they'd be back in the 70s. And the same applied to more flippant accounts.

(Lintas:Helsinki was the entire international network's leader in audiovisual and tv work and I got my start in tv animation there. And also my end!)

Pathos · 17-02-2010, 20:05

Had a client/design business that wanted to know how much time and money it would cost to make a unique joomla-template... The design wasn't to complicated as they said.

Of course they were very busy so couldn't do it themselves right now... But they always used to take a day to build it he said. This was not the designer/developer himself... So i said that if that was true he had to come back to me, as i had lots of work for them... Never heard from him again...

But it is getting irritating that people always think it can be done instantly...

steharg · 17-02-2010, 20:18

i was emailed information for a double sided flyer at 12.45pm
got a phone call at 1.10pm - "have you got that proof for me yet?"

Klang · 17-02-2010, 20:20

Did you flop your cock out and start slapping it on the phone whilst shouting 'Can you guess what this is'?

OD · 18-02-2010, 13:33

This morning's gem... An eMail response to some logo options which simply read...

"None of the logos please me."

Klang · 18-02-2010, 13:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by OriginalDisco

This morning's gem... An eMail response to some logo options which simply read...

"None of the logos please me."

were you designing them for a five year old?

OD · 18-02-2010, 13:49

Big accountants firm in Manchester.

That's the second one-sentence feedback (if it can be called that) I've gotten this week.

Not sure what they think I'm meant to do with that response. I assume it means "start again" but without any idea what they didn't like about the logos I won't really know where to start.

Time for a clarifying phonecall I think...

2Dfruit · 18-02-2010, 14:20

Quote:

Originally Posted by OriginalDisco

This morning's gem... An eMail response to some logo options which simply read...

"None of the logos please me."

What a silly cunt. Get Christian Bale on the phone.

"you're fucking amateur man....fuck"

sbx · 18-02-2010, 14:27

"Once you've done our website, can you sort out our network?"

key_uk · 22-02-2010, 12:15

Just had a client send over a logo his daughter has created cause shes interested in design, its a jpeg with white background, that he wants going on a dark blue background,

what a cunt

Dusty · 22-02-2010, 12:34

stick the big white square on the dark blue background. Don't mention it - wait for him to do so.

Klang · 22-02-2010, 12:34

Yeah, he asked for it, give it to him.

key_uk · 22-02-2010, 12:38

yep that's what I'm going to do

ian · 22-02-2010, 13:08

Cool, let us know how this progresses :-)

ben · 22-02-2010, 13:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by Klang

Did you flop your cock out and start slapping it on the phone whilst shouting 'Can you guess what this is'?

That can't be out of your head, that's way too funny ...

Juice · 22-02-2010, 14:00

Just off the phone with a client..
Client: I know the website isn't ready but could we put up what you have done up now

Me: It's a flat photoshop file
Client: Perfect, just make the links and put them through to the buy online
Me: It doesnt work like that, i'm still waiting on you content etc etc
Client: Ok, ok i understand, can we have a lite version of it up? with some undercontruction graphics so people will know its not finished?
Me: *Sighs*

tomson · 22-02-2010, 14:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by OriginalDisco

That's the second one-sentence feedback (if it can be called that) I've gotten this week.

I feel your pain. Getting feedback out of my current client is like milking a fucking bull.

They did suggest I design in Paint though (as it would be quicker) - so not all is lost.

Paddy · 22-02-2010, 14:25

I’ve just remembered a classic one I had a couple of years ago.

This was with regard to a four side A4 brochure for an estate agent that had four smallish photos in a line stretching the full width of one of the pages.

Client: You see the line of photos at the bottom?

Me: Yeah.

Client: Could you add in about two or three more and make them about twice as big?

Me: Pardon? So you don’t want them all along the top?

Client: No, keep them all in a line the way they are now. Just make them bigger and put in a few more.

Me: But there won’t be enough space. The page is only so wide. If I add more images I would have to make them all smaller, or move them on to another line. If I make them bigger I’ll have to take some away.

Client: But can’t you just resize them in Photoshop?

17-02-2010, 18:39	#103 (permalink)
steveb La force silencieuse Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: SUOMI Posts: 20,327	Well obviously they themselves won't be back to you, but the other silly cunts who pitched the other crappy ad agencies will be on to you. What goes around, comes around - God knows that was true of Lintas where I worked where if a customer drifted away in the 50s, they'd be back in the 70s. And the same applied to more flippant accounts. (Lintas:Helsinki was the entire international network's leader in audiovisual and tv work and I got my start in tv animation there. And also my end!) __________________ Tip: Steve is always right. —Bishop

17-02-2010, 20:18	#105 (permalink)
steharg Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Liverpool Posts: 2,591	i was emailed information for a double sided flyer at 12.45pm got a phone call at 1.10pm - "have you got that proof for me yet?" __________________ flickr

22-02-2010, 13:08	#116 (permalink)
ian éireannach Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Düsseldorf, Deutschland Posts: 1,949	Cool, let us know how this progresses :-) __________________ web :: twitter :: book :: html5bones

22-02-2010, 14:25	#120 (permalink)
Paddy Vive la Pirate Bay Join Date: May 2005 Location: Béal Feirste Posts: 8,051	I’ve just remembered a classic one I had a couple of years ago. This was with regard to a four side A4 brochure for an estate agent that had four smallish photos in a line stretching the full width of one of the pages. Client: You see the line of photos at the bottom? Me: Yeah. Client: Could you add in about two or three more and make them about twice as big? Me: Pardon? So you don’t want them all along the top? Client: No, keep them all in a line the way they are now. Just make them bigger and put in a few more. Me: But there won’t be enough space. The page is only so wide. If I add more images I would have to make them all smaller, or move them on to another line. If I make them bigger I’ll have to take some away. Client: But can’t you just resize them in Photoshop? __________________ =★=

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17-02-2010, 18:21	#101 (permalink)
HalfMachine Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Somewhere cold Posts: 219	Here's one we had said a few years ago over the phone. client: I wanted to call you to see what you were doing on Sunday morning. Me: don't know yet why? client: well, I need to get a presentation designed of how my brand will look in a big department store. You know, the packaging, the POS, the shelf styling and layout of products. Me: It doesn't give us much time but I can do as rush job and charge an extra sum on hourly rate. client: oh, I haven't got any money to do it, but there is a 'Dragon' interested so thought you might want to show them what you could do. be: so it's free work / no guarantee of any work after it / and we're gonna get all this done from scratch on Sunday morning? client: yep me: oooh, busy Sunday morning sorry.

17-02-2010, 20:05	#104 (permalink)
Pathos Senior Member Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 127	Had a client/design business that wanted to know how much time and money it would cost to make a unique joomla-template... The design wasn't to complicated as they said. Of course they were very busy so couldn't do it themselves right now... But they always used to take a day to build it he said. This was not the designer/developer himself... So i said that if that was true he had to come back to me, as i had lots of work for them... Never heard from him again... But it is getting irritating that people always think it can be done instantly...

17-02-2010, 20:20	#106 (permalink)
Klang Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 9,808	Did you flop your cock out and start slapping it on the phone whilst shouting 'Can you guess what this is'?

18-02-2010, 13:33	#107 (permalink)
OD Howl™ Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: York Posts: 6,402	This morning's gem... An eMail response to some logo options which simply read... "None of the logos please me."

18-02-2010, 13:49	#109 (permalink)
OD Howl™ Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: York Posts: 6,402	Big accountants firm in Manchester. That's the second one-sentence feedback (if it can be called that) I've gotten this week. Not sure what they think I'm meant to do with that response. I assume it means "start again" but without any idea what they didn't like about the logos I won't really know where to start. Time for a clarifying phonecall I think...

18-02-2010, 14:27	#111 (permalink)
sbx Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: United Kingdom Posts: 3,612	"Once you've done our website, can you sort out our network?"

22-02-2010, 12:15	#112 (permalink)
key_uk Another Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Shropshire Posts: 1,000	Just had a client send over a logo his daughter has created cause shes interested in design, its a jpeg with white background, that he wants going on a dark blue background, what a cunt

22-02-2010, 12:34	#113 (permalink)
Dusty Not a designer. Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 11,043	stick the big white square on the dark blue background. Don't mention it - wait for him to do so.

22-02-2010, 12:34	#114 (permalink)
Klang Senior Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 9,808	Yeah, he asked for it, give it to him.

22-02-2010, 12:38	#115 (permalink)
key_uk Another Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Shropshire Posts: 1,000	yep that's what I'm going to do

22-02-2010, 14:00	#118 (permalink)
Juice Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: Ireland Posts: 1,226	Just off the phone with a client.. Client: I know the website isn't ready but could we put up what you have done up now Me: It's a flat photoshop file Client: Perfect, just make the links and put them through to the buy online Me: It doesnt work like that, i'm still waiting on you content etc etc Client: Ok, ok i understand, can we have a lite version of it up? with some undercontruction graphics so people will know its not finished? Me: Sighs

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