[Transmogrify]

You Whores - NOTICE

A site by Bill Drummond.

[Anxious]

That's fantastic. My favourite is this one:

A mile in your shoes.
For exactly $50.00 USD plus the price of shipping, I will walk exactly 1 mile (~1.6 kilometres) in your shoes. After establishing e-mail contact, you will package and ship your shoes and a money order in the amount of $50.00 plus the price of return shipping to the address I will give you. When I receive your shoes, I will walk exactly one mile in them. I will make a video document of myself walking one mile in your shoes. I will then write a one-paged (single-spaced, 12 pt. font) essay on what it was like to walk in your shoes. Upon completion, I will package and ship your shoes, a CD containing a digital copy of the video, and the essay to the return address from the original package.

Loki
@yahoo.com
United States of America - 14/12/04

This one too:

Honest offer...
I will finger your cat for a quid. 2 for £1.50.

Paul
paul@
United Kingdom - 13/7/04

[Transmogrify]

This one as well:

Flip Em' The Bird
For a buck, two bucks or a quid I will give George W. Bush the finger everytime I pass the White House (I live in Washington DC) or the hotel of his choice wherever he is staying while on his conquest of the world. For an additional .50 cents I'll flip off Cheney also. Hell, for a tenner I'll flip off his whole staff. Just think every morning waking with a smile knowing you flipped off Dubya'
Zeus
@knees.com
United States of America - 14/7/04

And this!

Short Ginger Pubes 78pence
My girl has ginger hair and is embarrassed about her pubes and I want to put them to good use, for a small cost (plus P+P) I will send them to you. Washed or natural the choice is yours.
jjslappapants
@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 12/7/04

[Anxious]

Tour of my own personal pet cemetery
For £45 I will take you on a tour of the graveyard of my childhood pets. Anecdotes about dead pets will cost an extra £5. Too sensitive to negotiate.

annatheant
@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 6/8/04

This one seems fitting to DT:

Entry Level Work in Media (in London)
For the small sum of 12,000 English Pounds per annum I will degrade myself beyond the point of a safe psychological return! Watch me as I commute into the centre of London everyday withstanding the smelly, sweaty, silent (everyone on the verge of tears) type atmosphere that only the tube can deliver so delightfully! (1 hour in, 1 hour back). I will walk into an office in which no one will want to even look at me for fear of being seen saying good morning to 'The Runner'. I will spend the next hour making sure that all the over-fed public school educated knobs in the office have the right coffee/pain-au-chocolats on their desk. I will also do all other shopping required for office. I will then spend the rest of the day manning a fax machine and making sure that everyone has a cup of tea as and when they want it! If I am lucky I will get to stare at the back-end of taxi's for an hour if I have to pick up/drop off a person or package. If I am extra lucky I will get to be stuck on the A40 for several hours in rush hour, my only comfort being the playlisted radio garbage which I will listen to letting what is left of my soul disintegrate into the grey Tuesday afternoon atmosphere. (n.b. The fact that I own a 1st Degree from 'The best course of its kind in the country' should make parting with that cash that much sweeter).

Dwain Dibley
@hotmail.com
United Kingdom - 27/7/04

[Coops]

Genius!