Buy my book

StisterMeve
StisterMeve
Fucky-doPosts: 6,595 in General Discussion
Or don't. Someone's paid to have a book printed of my stupid poems. This is odd, and exciting.

It's here, order one if you fancy it.

Comments

  • Limbo
    Limbo
    Established Norm Posts: 27,309
    Nice one.

    You need to picture the whole book, cover as well as spreads.
  • StisterMeve
    StisterMeve
    Fucky-do Posts: 6,595
    Yeah I know. The last thing I'm waiting on is the cover, as my mate's doing it for me. Hence to picture. Had quite a few orders already though so it's not holding things back too much.
  • LittleMick
    LittleMick
    also known as little dick. The Occupied SixPosts: 8,990
    Nice work mate. Potential secret santa present right there.
  • willtoo
    willtoo
    .O_o. Posts: 2,466
    Nice one Meve!

    If it wasn't double the budget for the missus' and my small gift thing I'd snap it up.

    Might still buy it for me though... but not until a see a cover. I always judge a book by it's cover.

  • StisterMeve
    StisterMeve
    Fucky-do Posts: 6,595
    Get it as her joint Christmas and birthday present. Problem solved.
  • willtoo
    willtoo
    .O_o. Posts: 2,466
    Her Birthday is late December...
  • pob
    pob
    Bob on Posts: 4,722
    Nice work meve but you really need to stop mentioning how skint you are. Not a great look and gives the wrong impression. You want people to buy your book because of the content not to get you off bread and water.
  • LeakySandwich
    LeakySandwich
    Reminds me of the early books from Tim Key:

    Instructions, Guidelines, Tutelage, Suggestions, Other Suggestions and Examples Etc.: An Attempted Book By Tim Key. (And Conversations/ Descriptions/ A Piece About A Moth).

    25 Poems, 3 Recipes and 32 Other Suggestions (An Inventory).

    The haiku and Lewis Hamilton ones are easily on a par with some of his best work.
  • StisterMeve
    StisterMeve
    Fucky-do Posts: 6,595
    pob wrote: »
    Nice work meve but you really need to stop mentioning how skint you are. Not a great look and gives the wrong impression. You want people to buy your book because of the content not to get you off bread and water.

    You're probably right. It was only for context though, that's genuinely why I wrote them. Didn't really consider it being taken that way.
  • LittleMick
    LittleMick
    also known as little dick. The Occupied SixPosts: 8,990
    Steve, do you have a picture of the cover?
  • StisterMeve
    StisterMeve
    Fucky-do Posts: 6,595
    No. I know, it's shit. It's the last thing I'm waiting for – my mate's doing it. It should be the bollocks, because he is that. Once that arrives, off to the printer, and then apparently a 2-3 week turnaround before they arrive (with me).
  • LittleMick
    LittleMick
    also known as little dick. The Occupied SixPosts: 8,990
    So talking mid-December before orders are getting sent out?
  • StisterMeve
    StisterMeve
    Fucky-do Posts: 6,595
    Yeah. My page says 'hopefully before Christmas', so I don't think I've over-promised. I might get the cover today in which case we're cooking.
  • LittleMick
    LittleMick
    also known as little dick. The Occupied SixPosts: 8,990
    I should really read things.
  • StisterMeve
    StisterMeve
    Fucky-do Posts: 6,595
    Overrated.
  • Nick
    Nick
    Cream of DT Posts: 18,154
    Just make your own cover and get it printed, ffs!
  • Nick
    Nick
    Cream of DT Posts: 18,154 edited November 2016
    Some Poems

    By Meve


    Done.
  • StisterMeve
    StisterMeve
    Fucky-do Posts: 6,595
    It will essentially be that, with a swishy washy painty thing around it.

    It's alright, I've hassled. He's on it.
  • Nick
    Nick
    Cream of DT Posts: 18,154 edited November 2016
    Poems.png
  • Nick
    Nick
    Cream of DT Posts: 18,154 edited November 2016
    Joking aside, isn't the most important thing here about getting the book, in any state, sold and out there before Christmas? If it sells then you can always reprint with a swanky cover?

    EDIT: fwiw, I haven't bought one (or two) because I'm highly doubtful you'll have it finished and printed this year.
  • StisterMeve
    StisterMeve
    Fucky-do Posts: 6,595
    I know exactly where you're coming from, but it's involving a mate, who's work I really like. So it's a bit of a shout out for him, too.
  • Klang
    Klang
    Ray fucking Purchase Posts: 17,252 edited November 2016
    I once tried my hand at business
    Turns out i'm no good.
  • StisterMeve
    StisterMeve
    Fucky-do Posts: 6,595
    Book now has a cover. I'm sure the mockup looks like shit, but I'll replace it with a photo once I get the proof back.

    http://www.stephenfraserdesign.com/shop/some-poems
  • Giraffe
    Giraffe
    toxic designer Posts: 9,841
    haha I like your haiku
  • StisterMeve
    StisterMeve
    Fucky-do Posts: 6,595
    Only 20 left now. Happy with that!
  • StisterMeve
    StisterMeve
    Fucky-do Posts: 6,595
    Giraffe wrote: »
    haha I like your haiku

    Thanks. Of a similar ilk (but not as good):

  • alzer81
    alzer81
    here me now.. Posts: 3,964
    Kudos Steve. Great stuff!
  • StisterMeve
    StisterMeve
    Fucky-do Posts: 6,595
    Thanks. Anyone want to buy one? 16 left.
  • willtoo
    willtoo
    .O_o. Posts: 2,466
    Your order form is fecked mate.
  • David
    David
    Keeping Tom Happy Posts: 12,932
    The copy on your site makes me want to punch you in the face meve

    Nice poems though
  • StisterMeve
    StisterMeve
    Fucky-do Posts: 6,595
    willtoo wrote: »
    Your order form is fecked mate.

    What's up with it?
  • willtoo
    willtoo
    .O_o. Posts: 2,466
    form.png

    Seems to want an entry in the State field?

    Also, I reckon each required field should have an * , rather than just the titles. Plus, it's prob worth mentioning * = required field.
  • handcraftedweb
    handcraftedweb
    thought leader Left coastPosts: 6,751
    Dammit, he's a poet not a form designer.
  • willtoo
    willtoo
    .O_o. Posts: 2,466
    There's probably a poem in that...
  • StisterMeve
    StisterMeve
    Fucky-do Posts: 6,595
    That is weird. No-one else has found a problem, must be the London thing.

    Anyway, hcw's right. I have no clue how anything works, hence I threw it together in Squarespace. Problem-free till now! I'll see if there are any options.
  • StisterMeve
    StisterMeve
    Fucky-do Posts: 6,595
    And just for you David, I'll change the text.
  • David
    David
    Keeping Tom Happy Posts: 12,932
    Thank you
  • LeakySandwich
    LeakySandwich
    Ha! I like 'Cambridge' a lot.
  • LittleMick
    LittleMick
    also known as little dick. The Occupied SixPosts: 8,990
    Had the same issue with the order form but was too lazy to tell you about it.
  • StisterMeve
    StisterMeve
    Fucky-do Posts: 6,595
    Yeah, I had a look on Squarespace and there's fuck all I can do about it. I have the option to add 'Address' and set it to 'required'. Within that there's no customisation. I imagine you could get around it by putting 'London' in State/Province. Or anything else.

    I image that would explain why some address have come through with 'United Kingdom' before the postcode. Bit odd, but at least that works.
  • LittleMick
    LittleMick
    also known as little dick. The Occupied SixPosts: 8,990
    I'll just put in Sussex. I was just being a lazy cunt to be fair.
  • Limbo
    Limbo
    Established Norm Posts: 27,309
    Roses are Red
    Violets are violet you daft cunt.

    (felt inspired)
  • Limbo
    Limbo
    Established Norm Posts: 27,309
    Roses are Red
    Violets are violet you daft cunt.

    (felt inspired)
  • Nick
    Nick
    Cream of DT Posts: 18,154
    You can say that again.
  • Limbo
    Limbo
    Established Norm Posts: 27,309
    Roses are red
    I'm going to stab you
    Slowly
  • StisterMeve
    StisterMeve
    Fucky-do Posts: 6,595
    This book thing got quite exciting. Apparently if you publish any book (or similar) in whatever form, you HAVE to have an ISBN number, so we've done that. Means it also has a barcode on it, which is oddly exciting. Also, the British Library require 6 copies for their records, to 'preserve the literary heritage of the country for further generations'. Ha.

    Also it's gone to print.
  • David
    David
    Keeping Tom Happy Posts: 12,932
    literary heritage? I've bought a copy to wipe my ass with
  • LeakySandwich
    LeakySandwich
    You need to get business cards printed with 'Published Author' as the job title.
  • Klang
    Klang
    Ray fucking Purchase Posts: 17,252
    David wrote: »
    literary heritage? I've bought a copy to wipe my ass with

    First time reading this site has made me laugh out loud without in being one of my own comments for some time.
  • handcraftedweb
    handcraftedweb
    thought leader Left coastPosts: 6,751
    You need to get business cards printed with 'Published Author' as the job title.

    Same for your wikipedia page.
  • pmek
    pmek
    Banned Posts: 9,297
    Of a similar ilk (but not as good):


    Question; is the spelling mistake intentional?

  • willtoo
    willtoo
    .O_o. Posts: 2,466
    :#
  • StisterMeve
    StisterMeve
    Fucky-do Posts: 6,595
    You mean 'the'? Yeah, I totally forgot about that. Corrected it as soon as it went on Instagram.
  • pmek
    pmek
    Banned Posts: 9,297
    Bingo!
  • StisterMeve
    StisterMeve
    Fucky-do Posts: 6,595
    So... I didn't make Christmas, and then the printers downed tools over the holidays. But tonight I get my books. I have 9 left, so if you want one...

    http://www.stephenfraserdesign.com/shop/some-poems
  • steveb
    steveb
    BitterHusk Original™ Järvenpää FinlandPosts: 24,076
    I tried to order one but your drop-down list of destinations does not include Finland so I'll have to go without :(
  • StisterMeve
    StisterMeve
    Fucky-do Posts: 6,595
    It can be added...
  • steveb
    steveb
    BitterHusk Original™ Järvenpää FinlandPosts: 24,076
    I couldn't do it. I'll try again now.
  • steveb
    steveb
    BitterHusk Original™ Järvenpää FinlandPosts: 24,076 edited January 9
    Nope, I can't get Finland to get in its little box. It affects the postage amount, don't it? I see postage to Cyprus is £7.50 *gulp*. Same for Suomi I suppose.

    If you meant you can add it, please do!

  • StisterMeve
    StisterMeve
    Fucky-do Posts: 6,595
    I can, and I will as soon as I can. Cyprus was an arbitrary amount volunteered by my friend who lives in Cyprus (actually he was course leader at uni. Very supportive of his alumni). Seemed generous but potentially accurate.
  • steveb
    steveb
    BitterHusk Original™ Järvenpää FinlandPosts: 24,076
    Ordered! I hope your address label printer can understand that Järvenpää is spelled Järvenpää and not as
    Järvenpää !
  • StisterMeve
    StisterMeve
    Fucky-do Posts: 6,595
    Yes, it came up as both in my inbox. ä will happen.

    And thanks!
  • steveb
    steveb
    BitterHusk Original™ Järvenpää FinlandPosts: 24,076 edited January 10
    You're welcome. If I like the look of the book, I might pick your brains for advice about creating my own. I'm a dab hand at writing filthy limericks.

    It's amazing that some apps still aren't able to display accented letters!
  • LeakySandwich
    LeakySandwich
    How do they look Meve? Did you get them?
  • StisterMeve
    StisterMeve
    Fucky-do Posts: 6,595
    I'm really pleased with them. I'm sure when Steve gets his he'll give an unbiased opinion though...
  • steveb
    steveb
    BitterHusk Original™ Järvenpää FinlandPosts: 24,076
    I shall be my usual diplomatic self, naturally.
  • steveb
    steveb
    BitterHusk Original™ Järvenpää FinlandPosts: 24,076
    When I was unemployed
    In the early Nineties
    We got a new postman.
    A handsome lad
    With a smart goatee
    And tash.

    When I retired
    In the middle Teens
    We still had the same postman.
    His beard has greyed
    But I wouldn't kick him
    Out of bed.

    Today he brought me
    Some Poems.
    I estimate each laugh
    Cost two quid.
    And I found some typos.
    Why can I never read
    Without proofreading?
    Answers on a postcard.

    Objet d'art should be objets d'art
    The French also need plurals.
    It's part of their savoir-faire.

    Lillies are just a tad
    Overblown.
    But lilies are nice
    When they float.

    Thank you for the dedication
    At the back of the book.
  • StisterMeve
    StisterMeve
    Fucky-do Posts: 6,595
    Ah well, can't please everyone. Thanks for buying it anyway.
  • steveb
    steveb
    BitterHusk Original™ Järvenpää FinlandPosts: 24,076 edited January 24
    But I was delighted! It's a lot of fun.
  • Limbo
    Limbo
    Established Norm Posts: 27,309
    Not sure how you construe that as a negative review Meve ya plonker.
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