Can I have the social indexing stuff, bookmark this page with facebook, digg etc?
I don’t know what it is but think I need it.
"Love the site, everyone we have shown it to loves it. Thank you!.. But we don't have any money at the moment so can you not send your invoice for a while please"
I've just searched on Bing and I'm not even on the 20th page?!
Can we make sure we have the catalogue ready for the printers on Friday... Oh, and there are some products on the way from China to be photographed
It is more simple than I make out, isn't it?
I have just read it back and that is the least sense I've made in one paragraph in my life.
Good luck interpreting it.
If I send you a jpeg of [someone else's company] logo could you see if you have a chrome font that would make it look a little better? Also if you wanna sketch out some new logo ideas for them at a later date I'm sure they'd be interested
Hi I saw your post on the forum. I need a website designed and built asap for my estate agency business that will requires database systemand will have about 10+ pages. Please call me as I am a serious client
i got this message yesterday
We want to sex it up a bit. Put some women in bikinis on there leaning against the building. And make the logo bigger.
Cuntos Client™ wrote:
You miserable bastard, James
We want the main body text to be in 12pt Trade Gothic Black Condensed, the footer in 11pt Trade Gothic Book, move the logo 8px to the right and the sub-header 14px down. Make the plain blue left-nav a gradient from Pantone 8185C to light blue to match our brochures, move the links so there's only a couple of pixels between them and change the font in our logo to Trade Gothic Bold.
I've no money at the moment, i'm actually in a financially embarrassing situation. But if you do the work, I promise i'll come through in 4 to 5 months
Something happened to the Database last night and we lost some forums,
Tried a weekly backup but that didnt work as the backup was done this mornign after it happened so Ive had to go back a month - so thats the reason for missing posts/ threads etc.
"Why are you invoicing us? We're not using the work you've done..."
And so it begins.
Some things clients say are funny, most just take the piss.
That's pathetic, OD. It's like going to a restaurant, ordering and eating a starter and main course, then declining dessert and saying 'I didn't eat all three courses, so I'm not paying'. Why do people think they can get away with it? Try that with a mechanic and you'd be told straight.
Nah, If they haven't replied by 11am I send another one and BCC the Boss.
I'd be interested to see how that pans out (hopefully with the shruggers getting a bollocking!).
...who had under their employ the laziest, most incompetent, lying little bitch I have ever had the pleasure of working with.
You need to find a new job OD - your company sounds like it's a magnet for fucking morons.
Maybe he's the magnet and not the company?
Pete Nice wrote:
OD - just put everything in writing.
Had a few funny ones, a client phoning us up a week after completing their website saying it doesn't print out very well. Then having to make the website printer friendly for them, which was odd as it was just a roofing company.
I'm afraid that is just laziness on your part. Set up an alternate css file for print as standard.
Pete Nice wrote:
Balls, if someone wants their site printer friendly - that's extra. I wouldn't do it by default.
Who actually prints a site out?
I don't know many pirates Mr Webstar. I'm sorry. Anyway back your idiot client stories. Keeps me going through the day.
Willingly? Where do you get these facts? Those are just drunken accidents. You know, the ones that you say to your mates a few years later, "Oh shit, you remember that time I got so smashed and..."
Captain Morgan = prime example.
If we're talking modern day technology, preferably a saw or a gatling gun.
Client: That's fine, I'll just get my money back if that happens
I wouldn't be surprised if some of these people believed it was possible to be beamed somewhere, a la star trek.
Supplied a quote for 10 days worth of work.
Client askes if it could be done in 3.
It is a culture-wide problem with the value of data. The computer has created this myth that bytes are not in the same world as physical products, like someone else said - its like it is some modern form of magic.
The process is kind of intangible
That's exactly why we're now going to be providing clients with a more detailed explanation of our design process. Hopefully a bit more education will smooth out a lot of future stupid questions / comments.
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