You're the one who linked to
http://www.deedee914.com/ .
That shit qualifies as "amateur crap" more than anything on the site this thread is linking to. I mean, that deedee shit is really, really bad. Some of the worst self-described "art" I've ever seen. Deedee9:14 - a.k.a "The Abstract Version of Thomas Kinkade". Seriously. And she didn't even need to know Photoshop!
Come on, inspire me.