Hi designfreak,
I'm dealing with the same issues with ya everyday (can feel ya pain by the volume of your post, i managed to read the 1st half only btw).
Perhaps you're aiming at the wrong places? Thus all the lousy clients. Maybe you can market yourself in a way that clients come to you instead? At least you'd have the luxury to accept their job requests and all. Well 1st you gotta have lots of credibility to be doing so off course!
I agree getting the job and doing the job are 2 separate tasks!